Things leading up to Todd's birth were pretty hectic (and by that I mean possibly scary but not fully scary, and very out of my control). My blood pressure (BP) started to creep up towards the end of the pregnancy, and that meant extra doctor visits, which can be emotionally exhausting. One of the doctors even said, "Okay if your blood pressure doesn't go down in ten minutes I'm sending you to the hospital to deliver right now," and then it went down (barely) so I was sent home. Emotionally and hormonally, this was a weird time. Besides my BP, I was showing other signs of possible preeclampsia that were in that same worrying/not-worrying zone. As for the baby, he was also showing maybe/maybe-not problems. His stomach was too big on ultrasounds at 19 weeks, and this persisted at 30, 34, and 36 weeks. His too-big stomach was a potentially major concern because it might have meant that things were undeveloped in his intestines, and that food wouldn't be able to move through. Which is, obviously, bad news and fatal if not corrected. Because we have to poop, you guys. We HAVE to. Finally towards the end of the pregnancy, they determined that at least SOME stuff was getting through, so maybe he just had some restrictions in his digestive system, which still might require surgery. All this to say that they wanted me to deliver early (BP and all that) and they wanted baby to stay inside longer (the stomach thing and all that). But then the baby started doing poorly on non stress tests and biophysical profiles, so we had to have those every 2 days. It was stressful.
We ended up rescheduling surgery and he was delivered at 38 weeks (on Harry Potter's birthday, actually: only a few days after my birthday and a few days before Calvin's birthday. Nice little McCarrey Birthday Week there). The night before he was born James had a debilitating migraine that was so bad it sent us to urgent care. I've never seen him like that; it was so bad that we were both afraid James would be unable to attend the birth but lo! Modern medicine saves the day again! After a number of shots and pills and who knows what else, we both made it to the hospital and sent this selfie to our kids via my mom:
This c-section was MUCH better in almost every way than my other two! Surgery was scheduled for 11 am, so we got there at 9 am and got all hooked up and ready to go. When I got there I had even higher BP and more preeclampsia symptoms (I'll have you know that google wants to autocorrect "preeclampsia" to "Precambrian," so let's go with that and say I had Precambrian symptoms), so it was a good thing we had changed the date. I had been nervous about several things leading up to this based on past c sections - the biggest of which was the spinal block. It had been very painful and uncomfortable in the past and I had been told I was a "hard stick," so my spine is apparently not a birthing buddy of mine. I shared all this with my anesthesiologist and HOLY COW it was amazing. "And that's it!" he cheerfully announced after no time at all. It was over before it began. This was an option? I could have had non-traumatic experiences with this THE WHOLE TIME?? I need to find out what kind of cookies he likes and send him some. And then send some moldy ones to the people who did this for me before. (You think I'm kidding, but you're only partially correct.)
Then James came in, the curtain went up (ha! literally! because nobody needs to see someone slice them open with a scalpel, thank you) and things got started. They held up a mirror at the crucial moment, and for the first time ever, I got to see my child be born. The doctor tried to lift him up still inside the amniotic sac, but it popped before he got him out. But then on the second try, out Todd came! They lifted his head out with his face turned towards me, and he promptly peed all over me. (James assures me that fetal urine is sterile.) It was really a wonderful thing to see (the birth, not the peeing). If you get the chance to see your c section, I recommend you do it. They held the mirror so I could see my skin, a little blood, and a baby. I did not see my intestines or feel grossed out at all - my focus was a million percent on that tiny baby. I can still picture in my mind what it looked like when that veil parted and that face came into the world. He had hair! Well, more than our other boys had been born with. And it was dark hair; maybe somebody will look like me instead of James! And he was pink and healthy and had the right number of toes and eyes and such. He weighed 8 lb 14 oz (I have to admit to a teensy bit of disappoinment - my other 2 were both over 9.5 lbs and I had hoped to break our family record, but hey - he was 2 weeks early so I rest safe knowing that he WOULD have broken records. He's just that kind of boy). I held him on my chest for a bit during surgery (this was huge to me - the other hospital I've delivered at wouldn't let me hold them for over an hour) until I started to feel a bit green around the gills from the surgery, whereupon James got to hold him. The thing that surprised me most was how WARM he was. I mean, all humans are about the same temperature but we haven't all just emerged from a hot tub set to that temperature, and he was so very warm and perfect.
But this delivery took twice as long as it was supposed to. As my doctor said, "That was not a fun c-section," and "your bladder was everywhere," and "you had a large amount of scar tissue from adhesions after your previous c-section," and "I would be happier if you didn't have any more kids." (He later amended that last one to "It would be more dangerous for you throughout the pregnancy and delivery because of all the scar tissue. Pray about it." Buuuut that's a whole different discussion.) Adhesions are growths that adhere to different organs after surgery and it took a very long time to cut them out of the way to get baby out, and a long time to remove them and reposition everything afterwards. By the very end, my spinal block was starting to wind down and things were getting painful. The doctors were trying a newer thing (doing a nerve block by basically inserting IVs intothe sides of my stomach wall to block pain) in an effort to not increase my BP (because using these might mean I didn't need the other pain meds which can negatively affect BP), but the blocks didn't work (when removing the IVs we found kinks in the tubes which is why).
Once we got to the recovery room, I was in significant pain. Because of the blocks, I didn't get some other pain killer that they typically give you with the spinal block because theoretically I wouldn't need it. I felt like a wimp, asking for pain medicine pretty much constantly for that hour. It hurt so badly I wasn't really aware of anything else. I remember when I finally felt a very small amount better because it was like my body was FINALLY able to think, "Oh yes, there's a child! Let's see it!" whereas before that, the pain was so great that I could think of literally nothing else. Everyone thought the blocks were working (they weren't) and so I didn't have all the other options immediately because they hadn't anticipated the pain. I have never hurt so much in my life. James sent the "we have a baby and all is well, sorry for the delay but the surgery was extra long," text to his family. I made him change the "mom and baby are well" bit to be more truthful: "The baby is well but Sariah is in a lot of pain." Yup. It felt very important to me in that moment that people know Sariah was not well, ha. But again, modern medicine swoops in and saves the day with other medicines.
[Edited to add something important that we found at delivery! I wanted to see the placenta (because they're awesome) and they found TWO true knots in the umbilical cord! That can be super dangerous and is likely part of why Todd kept failing the biophysical profiles.]
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| The boys see their brother for the first time. First family of five photo! |
While in the hospital, my BP never really went back down. They sent me home with some BP meds, and even with that medicine, a week later my BP went up even more and I had some troubling symptoms. We went to the ER, and I was admitted for postpartum preeclampsia (which is a thing, apparently, because I had it). I spent another day in the hospital after that, but was sent home with a higher dose of BP medicine. At about 6 weeks postpartum my BP had finally stabilized. And now we're home and happy, we've emerged from that newborn haze, and life has become more normal. Todd is currently my favorite child because he smiles and snuggles, he lets me kiss his cheeks whenever I want, he's not a picky eater, and he doesn't whine or hit his brothers. Babies are the best! (Well, not at nighttime, but we can't always have it all!)
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| Henry holding Todd for the first time. |
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| Being too little to hold Todd (especially with the cast), here is Calvin patting Todd for the first time! |
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| Henry holding Todd on the first night home from the hospital. |
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| Mom and Todd: home at last! |
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| 3 month old cutie! |
