The Cashier Chronicles 2

A few anecdotes from my job:

Yesterday I had two unrelated customers in line, a man and woman.  They were talking about food, and they were both overweight.  The first lady says, "I love food!  You don't get fat from starving!"  The second man said, "Yeah, but I don't have much appetite for food these days."  After the first lady left, I asked the man why he didn't have an appetite for food anymore.  He said, "Eighteen years ago my wife died.  Ever since then I've mostly only had an appetite for drinking.  That's why I'm so big."

There is a customer who comes in every other day or so.  His accent is thick and he mumbles, so I have a hard time understanding him.  He usually quotes Elvis and tries to get the cashiers to say "Thank you, thank you very much" to him.  The other day I understood him more than usual when he came in the store and we had a nice chat.  Later, I went to go bring in shopping carts and he came out while I was headed in.  He had me stop pushing the carts and then took my hand and kissed it, saying, "You are a gorgeous soul!"  I said, "Thank you, thank you very much!"

Less of an anecdote and more of an observation: all the cashiers at all the stores here call people "sweetie" or "sweetheart."  Occasionally they'll do "sugar," but mostly not.  I can't quite bring myself to do it because I think I'd sound insincere.  Many customers are not very sweet.  They call that being hateful or being aggravating here, e.g. "I was getting aggravated at all the hateful people today."

I have only had ONE day at work so far in which something like this has not happened: someone will say something like, "You're not from here, are you?"  When I ask them how they know, their answers vary.  "Your accent."  "You don't look like it."  "I can just tell."  Usually they laugh.

One customer jokingly asked me if his cashier was any good (I was not his cashier at the time).  I said, "Yep!  She's the fastest cashier in the West!"  They both stared at me.  "In the East?  South?  In the state?" Nothing.  Apparently that's not an expression here.

There's a nice man of American Indian descent who comes in regularly.  (I have a hard time understanding his accent and low voice, but he's really nice.)  One day he came through my line and said, "You're nice.  Do you like jewelry?"  Why yes, yes I do.  "What kind of pendants do you like on necklaces?" Um...turquoise?  "Okay." Then he left.  He returned two minutes later and opened a box for me, showing me a turquoise necklace.  However, the necklace was in a child's length and was therefore something of a choking-hazard for me.  He said, "Drive around out back with me here," meaning for me to follow him to his car.  One of the other cashiers motioned that this was okay (and presumably safe), so I did.  I stood outside his car while he tried to find the right length chain, but I had to go back in and do my job before he found one.  The next day he came through my line again and gave me a lovely necklace!  He insisted I put it on then and there, and he lady behind him in line jokingly asked, "Are we witnessing an engagement?"  Another cashier says he gives jewelry to the the workers he likes.  "That's why I try not to do that with customers," she said.  "Sometimes this stuff happens."  That's why she tries not to...what, be friendly?  Say hi?  Incidentally, she does not have a necklace from the nice man.

Yesterday a lady came in as we were closing to get groceries.  She was a very large woman and was very clearly not wearing a bra under her spaghetti-strap shirt.  When the time came to pay, she reached into her shirt and pulled out a $10 bill.  From between her breasts.  The bill was damp and warm.  And then she put her $1 change back in there.  After she left, the manager came over and said, "No, she did not just take that money from her boobs!  How did she keep it in there?!  Those are not pockets!"